Dept. of Unconscious Plagiarism:
This bit of sarcastic commentary would appear to have been lifted, unintentionally, from the George Saunders piece My Amendment (The New Yorker 08.Mar.04) - since reencountered in his book of short stories, In Persuasion Nation, which also contains the small masterpieces Christmas, and, most especially, 93990.
The author apologizes for any ensuant misattributed honor.
