informant38
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...But of these sophisms and elenchs of merchandise I skill not...
Milton, Areopagitica

Except he had found the
standing sea-rock that even this last
Temptation breaks on; quieter than death but lovelier; peace
that quiets the desire even of praising it.

Jeffers, Meditation On Saviors


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26.5.03

{it's the confusion of war I never had, the death the killing wounds yes and fear screaming pain days and nights of raw fear sleeping in mud a little, always a taste of it, never the weeks and weeks and the gun faithful like a dog, no I never had that, exactly. we're at war now. like troops on a ship headed overseas. getting more jittery by the day. the sacrifice is always what they talk about, like some kid jerked from the sidewalk and stamped into a marching obedient number sacrificed so much. it's all sacrifice now. it's all hell. everybody wants taps but I play what I feel. and it's either play it all the time or this one day especially fight harder. I'm at war. maybe you're not. maybe you were once. maybe that should be honored and maybe today's that day, and in the little gap between my terror and the overwhelming disgust and rage that follows it like a wave I do feel that honoring. yes many men have died and suffered in these wars. these wars with their beginnings and their ends. and picking a special day for that recognition is a good thing, sure. but too much is gone unrecognized. and too many veterans quit fighting when they were told to, even though it was obvious the cause was still unwon. so here's a backhand salute, a bitter grin and a quiet moment you'll never hear. and a prayer that peace comes soon

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