Informant38

my last hundred

rebecca duffany rebecca
rebecca duffany you are tall
but not too tall
perfectly tall
and pretty
witheld a little
in your place at the bank
in the bank
within the green embrace of the bank
my money is in your hands
my life rebecca was in your hands
and you saved it
you saved my money
in kindness out of kindness
out of the kindness of your heart
every manager of every open establishment I
entered today
said no
but you said yes
the gas station where they know me
no
the music store where I buy twenty dollars worth
of guitar strings every month and a half
Trader Joe's
where I don't go very often
said no
the health food store where they
kind of know me
said no
said sorry come back at one
the socalled bank of america
where a junior version
excuse me a younger version
smaller younger junior version of you rebecca
a girl with a job at a bank
she would have mended my broken finances
my wrinkled bill
my one ragged franklin
she would have but she wasn't strong enough
so that when the manager said unh-uh
no sorry
not enough of the bill remains
she said
we need both serial numbers
she had no choice
but she had sympathy I could see it
in her eyes
and hear it when she said good luck
oh good luck my hands are like two clouds in the little sky of my pockets
that's when I started to get a little nervous
it was all I had
still is even tho I spent some of it after you
rebecca duffany after you
mended my broken finances
saved my day
lifted my heart and put the beat back into the bright streets of the
west side of Santa Cruz
I was kind to people after that
kinder than I would have been without that easy
gesture so hard for so many to make
a little risk on the side of compassionate sensibility
I am singing like a frog plucked from a pot of almost boiling water
the slow rise of the hot water of no money rebecca
duffany rebecca I was up against it there
the heat was on
the water getting a little weird
but hey I'm a frog you know what could I do
no wait
I'm not a frog
I'm a man with a hundred dollar bill
that turned into five twenties
a very common thing
made magic by your perfect dance
between the manager's refusal
and the cash drawer
you took it on
and in that quick moment
earned my heart's allegiance
what a world if we all did like you
all of us every day
these small kindnesses would break the dams of selfishness
that everywhere stop the natural flood of human nicety
rivers of compassionate understanding flow again
peace in the valley
and it could be
that we could all do like that so that it is
so that it becomes unremarkable
normal
of course
but for now it's like another world
but I'm dreaming this afternoon of these same streets and roads
same buildings but all in that other world
where kindness is as natural as breath
and the new things that are made possible by the relaxed grace of being
surrounded by kindness
wait for us to make them real
we would feel at home there though it would be
strange and foreign compared to this

we would enter that world like pioneers
into a new country

and I would name it after you