Invisible Soldiers
...And I'm -- and they're over here crying, in the native language, I'm guessing, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? You understand? And me, as being a father myself, looking into another father's eyes, asking why, you understand? You understand? I had no questions -- I mean, I had no answers to why this is going on. Cause I don’t know myself, I'm there to do a job. You understand? And I'm not saying I love my job, but the job I was doing is just -- I was forced to do it. You understand? And if I didn't do it, you understand, that's my family, you understand? I'm in guilt -- locked up -- I have seen children fight other children for food, for MRE's. You understand? I seen a little girl getting stomped. Her head was getting crushed to the pavement for a bag of MRE's. And this is --
AMY GOODMAN: This is for ready made meals of the military.
HEROLD NOEL: Yes, the military food. They tell us not to throw it out there, you understand, for the kids. But some soldiers, they -- some soldiers have a heart. You understand? They see the kids walking around with no clothes on, so we just throw -- throw them a little candy or something, just so they can eat, and --
JUAN GONZALEZ: At night, when you -- when you talked with your other -- with your fellow soldiers about what was going on, what was the conversation? What were you --
HEROLD NOEL: The conversation -- we tried to look on the -- you know, the better side of things, you understand? We said, you know what? We are going to do this and we're going to come back as heroes. We are going to come back and everybody is going to look up to us. We are in the history books now. This is how we tried to look at it. We try not to think about the death. You understand? We have -- there's times we have to sleep around the dead bodies, and stay in our trucks. The stench is -- that's a smell that you cannot get out -- you always smell it. You always get a taste of that smell cause I still smell it sometimes walking the streets of New York. You understand? It's -- so, we just try to look on the better side of things, to see, you understand, to get us by. Cause if we think about it, think about it, you understand, we are just going to end up turning on each other.
[...]
AMY GOODMAN: Did you argue a lot before you went to Iraq?
HEROLD NOEL: No. We didn't argue. You know, I was a good person to talk to. I was a giving person. You understand? My wife loved to be around me, you understand? I never had this anger problem. I never went out of hand, you understand. I was just a calm person. Anger would be the last thing that I will do. I will talk you to, and I -- everything was easy, but right now, my wife, we argue a lot. You understand? Because of the situation that I am going through because my wife don't think it's fair that, what I'm going through. She says, well, you almost gave your life and this is how they're treating you. And she sometimes thinks I'm doing something wrong, but I tell her, I'm not. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. To get help, but they -- they just turning me back to the shelter. When I took my wife to the shelter, you understand, she looked at me and was like, you expect me to stay here with my children. You understand. I'm not going to do this. This is where they guided me to.
AMY GOODMAN: Is the VA helping you psychologically. Have they talked about the issue of post-traumatic stress?
HEROLD NOEL: Yes, I am seeing a Dr. Lieberman. He has been helping me out. He's trying everything that he can through the VA but they said he needs -- he needs the help, you understand? It's like the VA needs help to help us.
AMY GOODMAN: Help us?
HEROLD NOEL: You understand? They say they're not getting that. They got limited funds or limited ways they can go, you understand? They don't have a lot to work with, so it's just like we're left on the street.
Democracy Now! 29.Dec.04
Operation Truth
Indypendent
