Informant38

GR7: One Small Step for Man Extremist Asiaphiles irritate the hell out of me. Drooling over Cibo Matto, clipping Kristi Yamaguchi milk ads, and eating dim sum, they tell me I hold my chopsticks wrong and make fun of my extension-school Cantonese. They choose their news programs on the basis of painted Asian anchor women and appease their not-so-latent pedophilia by watching Sailormoon cartoons.
Most "modern primitives" piss me off, too. Piercing their faces and genitalia, they think they're so cool, so "in control" of their bodies. Then they tattoo their arms, legs, and butts, and brand themselves as hipsters. It's funny how some people think they can get in touch with themselves by ripping off Asian, African, and Native American cultures.
I'll show them what it really means to be Asian and how to sacrifice one's body for a cause: I'm binding my feet. I don't know why no one else is doing it, yet. With all the trendies watching Hong Kong movies, wearing cheongsams, getting tattooed with Pacific Islander-style designs, and shooting heroin, footbinding is sure to be the next big thing.
Actually, there are many pragmatic benefits to having bound feet. Kids shoes are cheaper than adult sizes.
{dope facts on bound feet under the snide and barbed shaft}