veracity in ether doesn't equal veracity on earth, precisely:
A letter, to this person, about this:Hey-
I'm a real person. I'd be grateful if you didn't put my name up on your site but I send this knowing you could ignore that.
I'm already extended, out there, at risk, exposed to the truly dangerous professional monitors and data-miners. Amateurs don't worry me too much.
I'm free-lance weird. Unconnected to any govt mind-control apparatus -
consciously that is. Meaning I acknowledge the ultimately unknowable aspects of the subject.
A lot of inexplicable, or at least consensus-reality inexplicable stuff in my life though, for sure.
Most of it stemming from what I believe is the fact that at one point I was profiled along with most of the rest of the potential leaders of my generation, those of us with high IQ's, good looks, and size - by the swine who did that kind of thing, little ratlike jerks combing the public educational systems looking for budding American Che Guevaras and Mao Tse Tungs, Ho Chi Minhs, and all the other threatening liberationist creatures that so scared those dimwitted fogbrain asswipes.
It's my contention that a bunch of us were profiled and taken down in various ways before we could make too big a stink, back in the day. For a lot of reasons I've kept enough of my selves intact to hit back, feebly as may be, from here, relatively comfortably, from this chair, this computer, this moment - thus informant38. And affirm my reverence for the aesthetic and transcendent, thus dirty b.
Your facile - "but dude, if you AREN’T part of some kind of ARG, I would urge you maybe to get a little professional help. No offense" is pretty much the only thing in what I read - I read most of it - in your coverage of Duncan and Blake that was objectionable to me personally.
The textbook for Otherness/Strangeness 1A covers the inevitable trope of when you do have actual genuine inexplicable weirdness professional help is one of the first places you'll turn. And of course are met with the full armor of cultural refusal to see weirdness as anything other than defective integration with the norm. Or worse, are met with with the waiting leer of the very thing you seek help from.
RD Laing famously said it's impossible to become mental healthy in an ill society. If you don't think this society has proven itself beyond question as deeply pathological I'd suggest you sit and think about that for a month or two.
What I've tried off and on but not so often over the years [t]here at blogger&blogspot etc. is to get down some stuff that's irrefutably reality-based, that actually happened to me, get it down while it's still warm from the regurgitant process, which means it comes out often reading chaotic and disjointed - just like the "professionals" would expect. Paranoid screeds, ramblings, dithyrambic gibberish, nonsensical defensively constructed noise.
That's the trouble isn't it?
The production of gibbering victims is indistinguishable from the production of gibbering defectives, after the fact.
I can make pretty good sense when I try real hard though. Actually have done it enough to have gained the praise and respect of some other, far less certifiably paranoid, writers online that I in turn respect. So confirmation at least in some regard.
What I tried to put up about Duncan was some of my pain at her leaving, alongside uncommitted but aware recognition of the things she pointed to in her own not quite chaotic/not quite full-organized way.
I could easily believe given some consistent evidence that Theresa Duncan was a fictive avatar, an Idoru, but I could pretty easily believe the whole of earthly existence is a metaphysical ruse, as well.
If life is indeed composed of real things I'm pretty sure Duncan was one of them, and her concerns well-founded, at least originating in something she couldn't quite express directly enough to get it all the way up and out. Something dark and important. Something rigorous intuition gets close to a lot, in between the flashing UFO lights and the crop circle chaff.
And I feel guilt from seeing but not confirming that in her. Tremendous guilt in point of fact.
I owe her and her memory and by extension her lost lover.
I'm sorry you didn't dig the dirty beloved site, but hey.
And if you dig further on informant38 you'll see that I've addressed the knee-jerk anti-Semitic slander fully and directly, more than once. You may have to dig for it, but it's there.
As far as I'm concerned, constantly and repeatedly affirming your non-anti-Semitic nature in order to be taken seriously as someone who's alarmed by what's happened to the world and the US in particular is suckass behavior. Not my cup of ordure. I don't deal in cliches. I'm clear, with myself at least, about where I'm coming from, and it isn't bigoted or racist, or unthinking.
cheers
msg
