informant38
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...But of these sophisms and elenchs of merchandise I skill not...
Milton, Areopagitica

Except he had found the
standing sea-rock that even this last
Temptation breaks on; quieter than death but lovelier; peace
that quiets the desire even of praising it.

Jeffers, Meditation On Saviors


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29.1.02

concept of the day:
the self, aware.

the mystery of the self. not the cosmic what am I, who, and what am I doing, but the center of consciousness, the thing at the heart of percieving. What is that? How come it's there? The science boys have no rational explanation for it. The monitor/CPU configuration doesn't get it. From the outside yes that a system this complex would need some kind of brain some kind of center. but that doesn't explain the MEness, the I AM HERE part. I was standing in the kitchen waiting for the water to boil and I felt it again, like the old days, that spark of thrilling rightness, the ineluctable, irreducible, unnameable thereness of here. Me. Now. I can't explain it except as fragmented God. Pieces broken off, trying to become whole again. Or gathering in from the last big bang? I have no firm theory. But like the micro-infinite, it gooses my bean.

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